I’m afraid he has ruined me forever.

I’m afraid if I’m ever with someone else, I’ll hear ‘his’ words.

I’m afraid if he’s mad, I’ll be afraid of what he’ll do. I’m afraid of how I’ll react.

I’m afraid I’ll never want to be with anyone again.

I’m afraid I’ll never forget.

I’m afraid I’ll never be able to move on.

I’m afraid I’ll be alone forever. I’m afraid I’ll LIKE being alone forever.

I’m afraid things/words will always affect me.

I wrote these fears months ago. Interestingly, I haven’t thought about this list I started since the day I wrote it.  Not to say I won’t have these same fears when they arise again, but it’s interesting how they really aren’t things I’m thinking about right now.

But, do you want to know what I’m REALLY afraid of?

I’m afraid of spiders. 

The rest I can deal with. Spiders? Nope. So basically, I’m afraid I’ll never have someone who’ll effectively dispose of spiders for me. Is it a real concern? Yes. Because, I’m pretty sure they (the spiders) are all plotting my untimely demise. I’d much prefer to leave the room, burn down the apartment, etc… rather than dispose of one on my own.

So, while all the fears I wrote about (not just the spiders) are real, I just had to get rid of a spider on my own. It reminded me that I CAN conquer ALL my fears and be ok! Our fears are just that. Fear. Fear can be conquered. I know I can conquer all the fears I listed above if/when the time arises.

I’m really hoping this causes a few chuckles from those who read it, and maybe some praises from those of you who are fellow arachnophobes… 😉

#IHateSpiders #IHateDomesticViolence #ConquerFear